Brushin' With Desitin

Yep, it's the stuff you've seen on sitcoms that no real-life human being would ever do, so I should be a TV star!
I was in a hurry, okay? I saw a white tube in the medicine cabinet, and I squeezed it on my toothbrush. Right color, right consistency, right container. It was only when I started scrubbing the white stuff over my choppers that I had a rude, very rude, awakening.
I was brushing my teeth with diaper rash ointment.
The toothbrush had a hasty burial in my garbage can. I got a quick drink of water and spit in the sink, but guess what? Diaper rash ointment is WATERPROOF! So I got some mouthwash and swished it around, but guess what? Diaper rash ointment is MOUTHWASH PROOF! I dug out a new toothbrush and swizzled some real toothpaste on my sticky ivories, and that helped some, but my tongue still had diaper rash ointment residue in the creases.
But toothpaste is magic, do you know why? It took greasy makeup out of my clothes when no other cleaning product would! It was the plain white toothpaste, too, the diaper rash ointment look-alike.
You may be wondering why I even have diaper rash ointment when none of my children are in diapers (that I know of!)
Scroll down only if you really want to know...
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It's because it works wonders on hemorrhoids!

Why Didn't You Do It?

When's the last time you felt like doing something fun, but held back because of what others might think? Next time, ask yourself, "SO WHAT?" Go ahead, give them something to remember! You may be the one those observers talk about for generations to come. If we were cave men, we'd carve your likeness into the walls of buildings. We'd drum against hollow logs and sing songs about you. In Medieval times, your arrival would be sought from the highest parapets and announced with trumpets and strewn flower petals!
"Entertain us, do something funny, make us laugh, make us glad we're not you!"
One story is told about the mother of a high school basketball player who went to one of his games dressed as a cheerleader, but her stockings were pulled over lumpy potato eyes stuck to her legs! She jumped and cheered and did froggy kicks and had the time of her life while boring people sat in the stands and watched... and remembered.
Dare to do it. What's the worst that could happen? You might make someone laugh!